Tributes

Her best college friend, Sally, was dating an ND guy, Paul Ineich, and Sally and Paul conspired to put this elaborate matchmaking plan in place for more than a dozen couples. The girls all stayed at the South Bend YWCA.

When her group first met up with the guys, ND junior Tom Coonan spotted Kay, and without her catching on, walked behind her, got Paul’s attention, and pointed indicating he wanted to be paired with her. His buddy made it happen.

This is a photo of the two of them in front of Notre Dame Stadium. She’s wearing his hat – quite a power move by her. For that reason I don’t think she loves this photo but I figured I’d go ahead and post it anyway. What’s she gonna do to me now? (I’ve spent the better part of my lifetime in her doghouse already 🙂 I’ve become surprisingly comfortable in there!)

I love that this happened on a Thanksgiving weekend and was organized around a USC/Notre Dame football game. Anyone with even a passing familiarity with our family knows how utterly appropriate that is.

On Sunday all the girls piled into two cabs and went to brunch in South Bend before heading back to the train station. It was just the girls – with one notable exception. Midway through brunch Tom Coonan strolled in to say a very public goodbye to Kay in front of all her friends. Such a classy play. I have a feeling that sealed their fate right then and there.

Mom and Dad don’t drink nearly as much as a few of these photos might suggest. That’s the influence of the next generation. 🙂 (No comment on the generation after that.)

Of course this story has an incredibly happy ending. Idyllic, really – fairy tale stuff. By that I mean ND quarterback Ralph Guglielmi connected with Jim Morse on a 72-yard TD pass with just five minutes left to seal the come-from-behind victory for the Irish.

Oh, and that whole Tom and Kay thing worked out well too. Really, really well. So glad she got on that train…
(Paul married Sally too.)

DR. JIM ZAREMBA - “Zman” November 1, 2021

It’s taken me a few weeks to find the right mental and emotional state for this. Not sure that will ever come, but I CAN'T NOT write something special about this guy at this time. I feel compelled to do this for two reasons – it really does help me with my own grief – it’s therapeutic – but, more importantly, the dude deserves all this and more to be said about him as he leaves this life. But I would have loved nothing more than to wait a few decades to pen this.

We had to say goodbye to another Carroll Hall brother recently – Dr. Jim Zaremba – my college roommate. He went by Zman to all of Carroll Hall and Notre Dame and to the extended Coonan family and friends orbit. A great father, husband, doctor, athlete and coach, and a pillar of the community of Aiken, South Carolina. And a world class friend. There is a dorm full of Carroll Hall guys who can attest to that. My mom and my Aunt Carol both loved him – can there be any higher endorsement than that?

I loved having him alongside me in college and in life. As roommates we were polar opposites. He was organized, clean, mature, and serious . . . and I was not. We rubbed off on each other. In my case that made me better. In his case not so much.

He had that work hard/play hard mentality – with an intensity and a purpose about each. He was hyper competitive and exceled at everything he tried. In order to achieve all his personal goals and meet his own lofty standards he went to bed well after me and woke up long before me. It took a little prodding at times to pull him away from his books but when he did he was all in. He was as fun as he was smart, and such a kick to run with.

In grad school he met Angie – the best thing that ever happened to him – a sweet southern Betty (as Zman would describe her) with an accent to match. She loved him and she loved all of us. (Not all Carroll Hall wives/girlfriends do, by the way, as hard as that might be to imagine. ) Carroll Hall descended upon Aiken for their absolutely epic wedding in the summer of 1990 and it’s fair to say neither was ever the same. At the end of the ceremony, the minister looked at Zman, the Minnesota native, and said, “Son you may kiss your Southern bride.” It was priceless. Following a six-hour reception, the after-party in front of the “Up Your Alley” bar in Aiken spilled out into the street like it was Mardi Gras, as bridesmaids danced on top of the bar inside. Now this was a proper Southern wedding.

Jim applied his “all in” approach to being a father and husband and it showed. He loved his role as dad to Brittany and Daniel, and was so proud of both – for good reason. And along the way he became a revered member of that Aiken community. Nearly four hundred people attended the reception the night before his memorial service and Angie received them all and shed a tear, to put it mildly, with every last one. It was so heartwarming to see the way people spoke of him and how he made such a profound impact on that community. They all knew him as a great doctor – one who combined his rare intelligence with his trademark compassion. Hospital staff described him as a doctor who took the time and effort to not only remember their names but get to know them individually. So many parents and young adults remarked about his impact as a youth sports coach. More than one described him as a father figure, including an African American woman and long-time employee of his who spoke at the service, who said she considered herself a Zaremba – part of the family. None of that surprised me – it just confirmed all I had come to know about him - but it was all so heartwarming to hear nonetheless. And therapeutic in a way for me and my college friends as well as we struggled to come to grips with it all and contemplated a world without him.

Carroll Hall showed up for the memorial as they always do. Love those guys. Angie planned a beautiful memorial service that began with the National Anthem and ended with the Notre Dame Victory March – two of Zman’s favorites. I love that. How perfect. His son Daniel and his Navy colleagues filed in dressed in their full white uniforms. I’ve never seen so many Carroll Hall guys in tears.

More than anything, a clear picture emerged in our few days in Aiken of a rock solid, beloved member of the community who had people’s backs in times when they most needed it – whatever it took. We got to see first-hand the full extent of the enormous impact he had on that community. Precisely what I would have expected I would see.

Donna and I knew that compassion well. I had a little health scare last year, like we all tend to have at times. While we were going through all that Zman called us every day - not just for updates but to give us advice and ease our minds. He was unapologetic about his persistence, at one point even saying, “You know if you didn’t want me calling you about this every day you never should have told me about it in the first place. That’s just what you sign up for with me, and that’s what you get.”

Goodbye Zman. I’m so glad I “signed up” for a lifetime of that. Just wish somehow it could have been maybe even longer. I’m certain your modest, unassuming nature would have preferred I not write a tribute to you, but that’s what you signed up for with me, dude, and that’s what you get.

I’m so proud to have had him as a close friend. He enriched my life and made me a better man. And the thought of him will always bring a smile to my face.

Love you so much, Angie – today and always.

I’m so, so sorry to say we lost our dear friend, Brendan Owen, this past weekend. That is the saddest possible news to the Carroll Hall/Notre Dame community, who loved him dearly, and to the entire Coonan extended family - he became much more like family to all of us over the years.

He was an absolute character. Life of the party. Whenever he was in attendance there was all the laughter and fun you could ever imagine and the night was going long. Nowhere on earth were those qualities more appreciated than in Carroll Hall – where he was a true a legend. I’m posting this photo of him at a night club in New York where he talked his way into the DJ booth and ended up highjacking the music for a couple of hours. I don’t know of other people who would have had what it takes to even attempt that, let alone the skill to pull it off.

He had an uncanny ability to instantly connect with people – cab drivers, waitresses, people next to him on an airplane or at the ballpark – and then get right to the heart of the human condition with them. And they instantly let him in. One time he and I were driving out of New York on a Friday of a holiday weekend and as he was pontificating about as he often does on some topic and he tapped the car in front of us. We both got out as the tiny young lady in the car we hit emerged and yelled “What do I look like, f***ing target practice??” Brendan laughed so hard he almost fell over. I looked at her and she paused for a second before she burst into a smile. Another priceless Brendan moment. (I am posting a photo of just such an occasion – Brendan bonding with a group of retirees we met while we were on Spring Break in Florida at a baseball game. Instant friends.)

He was knowledgeable – and opinionated – about any subject, and always willing to make a provocative statement to trigger a debate. I both loved that and hated that about him. 🙂 He loved nothing more than a long, lingering dinner with a few bottles of wine talking politics, history, presidents, baseball… and life. The deeper the conversation the better. He challenged all my opinions and made me better. He was a phenomenal dinner companion. 

He was such a good and loyal friend. He valued all his friendships, and was so good at expressing genuine appreciation for those close to him. A phenomenal writer, he was always quick with a heartfelt thank you note in the most eloquent prose imaginable. His words to Donna and I on our wedding video included quotations from JFK and Robert Frost. Only Brendan. 

I said he was like family. He loved my sisters, my mom and my Aunt Carol like they were his. When we lost Carol he was devastated for me. He knew how I loved talking about Carol so he would often bring her up in conversation. He was so rare that way.

Thanks for indulging me. Like so many Carroll guys I loved him like a brother – one you fight with and compete with but who is as loyal as they come. He enriched our lives beyond measure. I love this photo of him at my wedding with the whole Pacific Ocean behind him. 

Goodbye, Brendan. You definitely took the path less travelled by, and that made all the difference.

Donny Guzman passed away this week - yet another of cancer’s victims. Our friendship of fifty years endured and thrived through all of our life’s transitions - from altar boys to cub scouts to baseball bums to the lost decade before marriage to having families of our own and coaching our kids. That’s us standing next to each other at first communion and then again in our El Segundo Babe Ruth team photo - he looks ready to take someone on in both pictures! 🙂 That’s before he met Alma - in a life full of home runs she was clearly his greatest. 

It was a absolute scream going through life alongside him. Loved his sense of humor, which lasted all the way to the end. Just recently FaceTiming with him in his hospital bed he made a point of telling me I looked even worse than he did. 🙂

He was a great hitter - and was proud of that without being the least bit arrogant. I knew that best because I had the benefit of hitting in front of him often - no one was pitching around me to face him. 🙂 Searching amongst all these old photos late last night through both laughter and tears I found a lineup card from one of our three years together on the Seals. I know that means nothing to anybody else but us but I love that it meant enough to me to keep it. And anyone who ever saw him play will recognize that familiar batting stance you see in these photos.

Alma was such a treasure in his life and an incredible rock of support through his long illness. Love you so much. Alma!

I want to also mention his amazing Mom, Sharon - one of the all time characters, 🙂 and our buddy Brian Brandlin, both of whom were at his side through so much of his last weeks. Brian is so many things to so many people.

Goodbye Don. Your life was a screaming line drive that cleared the 330 sign over the bank in left field. Unfortunately it just left the park a little too quickly...

CAROL MCFADDEN December 11, 2015

It is terribly, terribly heartbreaking to write this but we lost our dear, sweet, wonderful Aunt Carol this week to cancer. She wasn't just our Aunt, she was everyone's aunt - and was known as "Aunt Carol" to a cast of thousands - including every friend any of the Coonans or McFaddens ever had. She spent the better part of every day of her life smiling and laughing. We literally can't find a photo of her where she isn't happy. She saw humor everywhere - even amazingly last week as she conveyed the news of her condition and how it had taken a very bad turn.

She was so completely young at heart, and always, always game for having fun. And she connected so well with everyone she came into contact with. To know Aunt Carol is to love her dearly. I think the single most remarkable thing about her is how deeply and consistently she was loved and adored by all. She showed up at Carroll Hall for Junior Parents weekend when I was in college and was not only the hit of the party but was the last to leave and the talk of the dorm. We loved how we could call her at the end of the night on the west coast and she would always pick up the phone - thrilled to be included in the party. She was as cool as they come.

Services in Springfield on Tuesday morning. It will be therapeutic to share all the stories of all the countless good times we had with that wonderful gift we had the privilege of knowing for so long in our lives. What a legacy! May her optimism, disposition and spirit live on in all Coonans, McFaddens and "extended family"